A while ago, I just realised how fucking desperate I am.
And I do nothing about it, except whining about it of course.
I mean... I don't know. Should probably write a message to myself:
Look. Look at him. Fucking look at him. See him? Yes. That's him. HIM. And you, my dear, YOU are probably never going to see him because of what? Well yes, because of excatly that thing you are thinking about right now. That's it. He's just soooo somewhere else than you are. Forget it.
I don't care you spend half of your day and night thinking about something that is so not going to happen, even if you would be lucky enough to get your ass there this fall, no, no, no way. That would be too easy, eh?
You should just quit it all. Quit and face that fact that he is probably not for you as much as you're not for him. You know, I said it already, he is somewhere else. Completely somewhere else.
And so are you. You're a naive person who spends too much time inside her head, planning and imagining your life in the way that is never going to be even if you worked your ass off.
You will never see him, he will never see you and both your lives will just pass without mutual noticing. Lose it. Forget it. Cut it off. Never going to happen.
you are a fucking desperate person that just goes through a tunnel and refuses, I repeat REFUSES to look away from the narrow line that is in front of you. Just fucking look around. There are many others. Why you fail to see it? I know, because you want. Because you want to have this brain eating naive hope that someday, maybe... Oh bollocks. Fucking bollocks. Again, my dear, never going to happen. Face it. You are ugly and you suck.
There, I said it. No need to thank me, daydreaming me.
Your beloved realistic and "I'm gonna hunt your dreams down and slowly destroy them"-me.
Good fucking night. Go to sleep. You are fucking working tomorrow.