For past few days I am tired as hell. I am still trying to change my body settings from "oh-so-lazy-holiday" to "oh-my-god-i-have-to-wake-up-soon!" setup.
But it's harder than I thought.
Of course, as today is the official first autumn day, I began to feel somehow sick. This sore throat thing, little headache and bags under my eyes, connected with too much work and too much new things to care about and realise. And too little time.
It's not a mystery I fall asleep at school on some lectures. I just can't take the pressure. I just can't concentrate. I say to myself, "Right, I will go to bed earlier than I did..." Fine. FINE. I can go to bed at 10pm, why not, but the only question is - will I fall asleep? Of course, but 4 hours later.and in another 4 hours I have to wake up, which is not enough to finish my third sleeping phase.
You know the sleeping phase lasts about 90 minutes? And if you happen to wake up in the middle of it, that makes you tired, since your brain is in the.. wait, forgot it. REM phase? Maybe, dunno, can't find the notes.
-ANYWAY-You didn't finish your sleep properly and your brain isn't ready to work. I guess you know those times when you had f.e. too little sleep and were all ok straight after you woke up, or when you slept basically the whole night, say, 12 hours and you still feel tired when you wake up. That sums it up, I guess.
Wait, what was I talking about?
Along with that, my sense for inspiration is gone. Somewhere. It always goes somewhere when my school starts, and returns during holidays. SOMETIMES. SO I think the time for me to be creative and shit is over. Now the dark and dull uninspirational days begin. They will grow shorter, colder and the nights will take over my brain. Of course, I rather "create" during the night, but summer nights are somehow... better for it. You can sit by the open window and just stare into nowhere, letting the summer air into your lungs without freezing. You simply cannot do it when it's cold, unless your body is ready to get covered in frost, oh woo hoo.
The time of hot tea or chocolate or coffee with milk arrived.
The time of sweaters with deers.
The time of early darkness and lots of candles.
Soon, I will smell apples, cinnamon and hot wine in the air.