23. 5. 2011

A Mind's Whispers

A new blog.

A Mind's Whispers

Dream diary purpose.

Because I believe someone will tell me what the hell is wrong with me and what do they mean.

21. 5. 2011

TIME. Stop running so fast...

A month ago I said my database project shall be done in a while so I wouldn't have to bother myself with it 2 days before deadline.
And what is in my mind now? That certain project. I am such a hardcore procrastinator, it's just unbelieveable have to say. Well, I'd better have it done today, otherwise I am really screwed, I need points for that subject.

Or better to say, I am failing terribly because my mind is completely shattered and I can't concentrate nor focus or anything. It couldn't have come in a BETTER MOMENT, seriously. While the other side is just having fun there, I am sitting here, thinking what the fuck did I do wrong he decided to say "let's break up" and that's in my mind 24/7, this fucking despair, and combined with stress from school it's just a fucked up combination that doesn't leave you in peace even for a single second.

I want it to be over. At least today is the end of the world, I can't be bothered anymore...

19. 5. 2011

Weird dreams

Past week, I have been having really strange dreams.
I don't know what they mean. I don't understand them. I rather decided to write them down somewhere, hoping that one day someone will tell me the meaning of them properly.

I am very sad, very tired, very anxious and simply feel like a fly trapped in a jar, trying to get out but hitting the glass constantly.

Anyone, explain this to me?

"Running around a city at night, randomly taking pictures. Recognising 80% of the places, I seem to be in Prague.

Some tourist leaving a pub asks me for directions, I happen to have a map I don't need, the tourist buys it from me.

Someone calls me, I don't see the number, I hear a familiar voice, so I ask "What do you need, why are you calling me? You know we stopped talking some time ago." - "I am aware of the fact, but I wanted to hear how are you doing, I miss talking to you."

I am at home having a cup of coffee, writing something."

18. 5. 2011

Well, nothing lasts forever.

Remember 30 days photo challenge?

Remember day number 14?

A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without?

Apparently, now I have to imagine my life without that person, as we unfortunately decided to break up. From his side, not an easy decision, he said. From my side, few days full of tears.
Reasons were that we behaved more like friends than lovers lately; that the distance is difficult to bear; that any of us isn't ready to make the sacrifice of leaving one's country and moving to the other one's.

It is hard for me. I loved him, well I still do, but to tell the truth, now on a different level.
He decided it shall be over, he doesn't believe in the relationship anymore and I cannot force him to love me and stay with me, I can only respect it and deal with it.

I am grateful for the time we have spent together, for all the fun we had, for all the hugs, kisses and sweet words that I am going to miss and I don't regret any "I love you" I told him.

And glad that we did say "goodbye" to each other in a friendly way.
Lost a lover, gained a good friend.


4. 5. 2011

LAW

The content.
Very long, very difficult to learn even though it is explained in a stupidity-proof form.

You know, the more I read it, the less I seem to understand it. And I have to write a test from it tomorrow. Ah well. Let's just hope for the best possible result, that I won't fail terribly...

I seriously have read every damn letter or punctuation mark in the law materials I have. I am getting tired and I feel like if you ask me something, I won't be able to tell you the right answer, boo...

Meanwhile, it's 2:0 in an ice hockey match for us, we are playing with Finland.

3. 5. 2011

Rainy days

They are awesome.
They are perfect for being at home, having a cup of coffee 24/7 in front of you and watching some movies. Or series (aka I have just found an awesome serie called "Game of Thrones" and "The Borgias", also catching up on "Spartacus: Gods of Arena").
Shame that the exams are getting closer and closer and my procrastination level is higher than ever. I stil think they should make it a school subject.

To comment latest news, that I don't do very often:

1. The Royal wedding
Indeed a nice event, ate 6 hours of my day. It is nice to see there are countries that have monarchy, but shame to see czech people ocmmenting "oh i wish we had monarchy just because of cool weddings like that!" Then, my dear czech idiots, you shouldn't have let T. G. Masaryk made a damn republic out of our lands after the WW1. And also, the monarchy has never been officially cancelled in here, so.. we still are one.
Anyway, wishing the couple the best of luck. And adding a silly picture afterwards:


2. Beatification of the Pope John Paul II.
And also christianity is still alive (and dying? jk). I respected Karol Wojtyla as a person, who managed to give the church a friendlier face. So, even though I am not in the church, I agree with this move.

3. Bin Laden dead?
Who believes that?
Either he is still hiding somewhere or he is dead for a long time now, I don't believe it. I think it was the right move for Obama raising his popularity before elections, but.. the only way for me to believe this is to se his corpse on few different pictures. The fact that "they buried him into the sea" feeds my non-believing even more.
And Americans with their flag waving "we killed him fuck yeah" should seriously go to hell and dine there along with other terrorists.

Phew.

Back to school.